Confession of a desperately love disappointing me

In this night really have no idea what to do. Besides all the plan has scheduled before had already broke. So now, here I am sitting all alone writing anything crossed in my thought. Thinking about the 3 years of Saturday night I’ve spend as an available girl.

Somehow, this whole of the week I feel so into blue. Because of all the 3 years love disappointing I’ve through it all. 3 years for god sake?! U could even have 3 babies for that long time. Though here I am as alone as I am waiting all the time for ur coming. Still wondering who’s he?

I’m still looking forward to find the wrong in me which successfully making me alone all the way. Indeed it’s not that hard to forget this ex boyfriend. Since he’s supposed to have millions of girls in his life after he left me here alone (WTF!!). it’s supposed to be that easy to forget this drat man. From the deepest of my heart I don’t even have any hard feeling for him anymore. It’s been 3 years already, Nenny!!

Then I was thinking. Maybe the fault is mine. Because of his perfection in my thought, I’ve never looked any better man than him. I was too inspired to have a man like him even more. Thus, that’s why all the man had got closer to me is look too far from him. He always be my best (even he’s totally far from that word. As the matter of fact, he left me here all alone!! GOD DAMMIT!!).

It’s hard for me to welcome every man who getting closer to me.

Am I that perfectionist girl who always looks for the best one? Well, if u asked me that simple question 2 years ago, there’ll be no doubt for the yes answer. But for now on I am wondering, what the hell am I wish for this love life story? Looking for the best one then u got dumped by him? Or the best one though he’s cheating on you? Doesn’t mean that ex did that kinda stuff to me. But that’s my point. What’s on earth I’m looking for a perfect boy to be mine?

Doesn’t mean for this 3 years I can’t find a better man than him. Actually I’ve already adored another man in my school. But it always goes as a real story of my life. The man has already have a girl (oh, very typical!!).

In Facebook there’s an application about a quote that written by the member of this friends network. This application called Minekey. And it’s a quote that totally sooooo me. Well the quote is “Everybody wants to have a loving and caring person next to them. They dream of it, They looking for it, but when They find it, They take it for granted, They get annoyed by it and then ignorance begins”. The quote exactly describes a girl named nenny (that’s me, sweetheart!). That’s what I always feel of the man who closer to me. This ignorance come naturally such my habitual things to do.

So, what’s on earth I take my 3 years for granted. Find a perfect man for 3 years is truly a wasted. Alrite then, from now on… I’m trying to understand these men. Trying to stop the ignorance unless the acceptance. Nobody’s perfect, nen and so u are. So, reflect yourself before you’re judging the other men.

I supposed to change this mind-set! I’m not looking for a man who look alike this ex or even better than him. I’ll look for a loving and caring man next to me. I’ll try not to take him for granted anymore. Start to open myself, my mind and my soul… there’re millions of man waiting for me out there. Forget my past, I’m not gonna get something worth with that but pointless, desperate and disappointing moment as I used to.

I CAN DO IT. I SHOULD.

So, let’s hunt fellas!!